butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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