I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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