There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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