MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think your dad took our porno
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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