One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
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she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
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Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize