her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
