Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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