How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
