how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
