I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
