Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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