And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
