I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize