Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize