but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
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Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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