things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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