I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize