I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
