Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
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Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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