Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
