Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
