just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
