The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
