Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
