I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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