Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
