This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
