i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.