we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2