Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me