You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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