big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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