we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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