Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
