K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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