matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Me too!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
