Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
