You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
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I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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