jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
