my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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