you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
