overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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