fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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