oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if only i could text you this smell
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
