I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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