He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
