There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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