He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
