All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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