absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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