He uses pillows to masturbate.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
