I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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