Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
