he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize