You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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