Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
