Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
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Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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