The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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