So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
